Keeping Dates in Mind


We all have those specific dates that for some reason stick in our minds. At least, I think we do. While many of us might have no idea why, there definitely is a reason. 

For me, this date is 10/22. Why? I have no idea. And that kind of proves my previous statement. I look at pictures from years ago on this date, and there is nothing special, as far as I know. The only pictures there are a selfie of me and a friend, and two photos of my cat. My best guess is that I attended TeenReaderCon this day in 2016. However, I don’t think that really justifies why I think this date is significant or important to me as a person. 

Today was 10/22, and a Friday! What could be better? My day was scheduled to just be another school day. For the most part, I had my regular classes. I had a test in Statistics, and I was scheduled to take my first physics test of the year. However, I got to leave school early because the girls varsity soccer team had a sectional game. In this season, I was very fortunate enough to manage this wonderful team. It was an amazing opportunity and I loved every minute of it. There was such an amazing team dynamic, and it was just lovely. From pre-making ice bags, keeping book, eating apples, a pasta party, and being part of something that everybody was passionate about were only a few of the things that made this experience so great. I felt welcome and appreciated, and even though today’s we lost the game– I am incredibly proud of every individual on that team. The bus ride home was fun, and then we got to the school. We all sat on the stairs near the entrance by the overhang. After a pep talk and putting everything away,  I went out to my mom’s vehicle. And then around 6:30ish on our way home, things took a turn.

I’ve been very fortunate in that I haven’t lost that many people that I care about. Before today, I could only think of two losses that have really stood out to me. One loss was my uncle’s father, and that was years ago. I remember being very emotional over it, but to be fair he lived in Maryland and he was always so kind and thoughtful. The other loss I experienced was one of my aunts on my dad’s side of the family. I don’t remember being that emotional over this loss, and for that I feel like a terrible person. I never really knew my aunt. The only memories I would have had of her are gone. I only remember that she would go to some of my birthday parties and my mom says that she gave really nice gifts. I wish I knew her better and I wish I was closer with my dad’s side of the family. Some things are out of my control. 

A few months ago, my grandmother’s cousin gave us her cat, Buddy. He’s such a sweet cat full of love and affection. My grandmother’s cousin was planning to move out west — Oregon, more specifically to be closer to her children and her grandchildren. She and her husband always gave me a birthday gift, a Christmas gift, a gift for any occasion. She also threw a lot of family reunions, which were always a blast. I got to spend time with my cousins that live in eastern Massachusetts, and I got to see people that I normally wouldn’t. Behind her house, was a patch of woods, and every July her yard would be peppered with hues of violet from the sweet peas. My grandmother’s cousin started to have health implications, and we thought that a tumor had returned from her cancer. When my mom told me this, it was a very heavy topic, however it wasn’t a tumor, only scar tissue. She spent quite some time in the hospital, where they gave her medicine to help with the scar tissue. Something that was supposed to help her, didn’t. Her digestive system couldn’t handle the medicine, and according to my grandmother, the medicine put a hole into her stomach and perforated her intestines.

This morning she passed away. And what a loss that truly is. She brought so many people together, and this loss has truly affected me. I don’t know if it’s partially because I feel like I let her down in that we can’t keep her cat, or the fact that I know she won’t be there to see me when I graduate. I don’t know exactly what it is. It’s most likely, and simply grief. Somebody who loves socializing and spending time with people they loved, she definitely didn’t want to spend her last few weeks in a semi-coma. She was able to see her children before she went, and this is more accurate to how she wanted to spend her last few weeks here. Most likely, this loss has affected me the greatest because it’s the first loss I truly understand.

Loss to some people, could be seen as a paper-weight. Loss comes in many forms, it could be losing a game, it could be losing a friend, it could be losing a pet, or misplacing something like a pencil.

This 10/22, really put things into perspective. All things that are memorable aren’t always good, and all things that you think have the potential to be good have the potential to be bad. 10/22 being a date that just stuck to my mind, I thought it had to be a good day. And for a while, it was.